I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
