Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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