If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
