FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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