Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
