You made me cry and you don't even care
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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