found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think I am morally bankrupt
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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