But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
