we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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