but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'm really busy with my period
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