Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
