i think my mom watched the whole time
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
