I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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