Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
