no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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