I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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