Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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