Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
