You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
