You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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