please come you make the beer taste better
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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