I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize