i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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