whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
