you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You're like the curious george of whores
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
