Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
