why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
