I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
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I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
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You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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