the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
