I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
