you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
