He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize