you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
