Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
