My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
