I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
