but the lizard people decide everything anyway
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
