When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We need to rekindle our bromance
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
