i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize