i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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