When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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