is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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