My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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