Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
