i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Found the puke drawer
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
