ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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