Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
