Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
