I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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