Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
