Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
