After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Send help, water and tortillas.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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