Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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