wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
