yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
