she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
please don't ironically join a cult
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