Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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