3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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