well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize