So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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