:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
