i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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